Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna – the movie on relationship n its complexities; marriage n infidelity…!!!

Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna (KANK), the movie by Karan Johar, which has been surrounded by immense criticism, deals with d sensitive issue of relationship & its complexities; marriage & infidelity. The other day, I was reading d reviews on d movie n there has been mixed feelings associated with it. Most of the Indian crowd doesn’t seem to be very happy with its climax; however, the movie is doing quite well abroad. This makes me wonder as to why we're so fond of happy endings!!? Are we still living in a fantasy world?? Are we matured enough to face d reality?? Why can’t we be practical n accept d fact that life’s not as sweet as it seems to be..!! Well, as for me, I loved d movie but it did raised many questions into my mind.

I asked to myself as to what a ‘Relationship’ is? Is it merely a connection between two or more people or there is more into it?? Why do we tend to fall for someone & why we feel attracted towards him/her? Is it wrong to keep certain hope n expectations from those with whom we are involved..!!?? We human beings search for happiness all over and like to share our love n feelings with someone really special. But besides being deeply involved with that person we often tend to get into some sort of difference in opinion, n eventually clashes occur. Now it depends how serious d conflict is, but whatever the case maybe, is it right to break apart?? Is it right to betray d person with whom we were so closely attached?? How come, d ‘special’ person turns out to be ‘not so special’ all of a sudden??

When we talk of married couples, such sort of differences often leads to infidelity (where d person engages in a relationship with another, violating d characteristics of d marriage). Simply stated, marriage is a commitment to seek mutual fulfillment, to make our own satisfaction contingent on our spouse’s. However, infidelity is the result of disillusionment or disappointment with d marriage, and lack of understanding regarding what to do about it.

Obviously, infidelity is always destructive & fatal to a marriage. Discovering d betrayal and anticipating d potential loss of d person most important in our life causes great distress. Unlike d trauma of death, which has an end, infidelity undermines all that is good in a relationship and d pain seems to have no natural end point. Although not welcomed, death is to be expected at some point or d other, betrayal is not..!! The victim of betrayal often questions if the spouse ever loved him, and if so, what he might have done to lose it.

So, what's d key to successful relationships? What are the simple things we need to know to deepen our partnership & make our relationship work? Now, I am not some sort of a GYAN GURU (expert), and neither did I ever had a super successful relationship, but with the time, I have noticed things & learnt stuffs, and surely I can list out few points which may prove useful for a relationship to work out well:

1. Time is one of d important factors. Without quality time, no relationship will ever survive. The couple should devote appropriate amount of time to be spent exclusively with each other.
2. Security n comfort plays important part too. A good relationship is built on compromise & a great deal of give n take on both sides.
3. Keep d dependence and independence in balance. Tell and show your partner how much you need him, but don't make him/her feel trapped.
4. Encourage him to listen to you, by showing appreciation when he does. Show interest when he talks to you & learn to do the thing that is most likely to restore good feeling in a relationship - give a genuine, loving and approving smile.
5. If something bothers you, say it, solve out your differences n try to find solutions. If necessary, then negotiate. State what you want and then work together to find a way forward.
6. Learn that punishing partner doesn’t work. It may make you feel better to give him a hard time, but it will actually irritate him/her more. Remember that forgiving n forgetting things is d most handy tool for a successful relationship.
7. Money maybe one of the cause of couple conflict. For a relationship to work, it is essential to work out a budget n plan out things accordingly.
8. Make a list of the domestic tasks, talk it through & mobilize d whole family, in order to share d work fairly.
9. Accept the things that won't change. Some characteristics about your partner are there for life - and you have to face that. After all, nobody’s perfect..!!
10. Research suggests, we need five positive experiences to erase the memory of one negative experience. So give five kind words for each bitchy comment. Give five hugs for each cold shoulder.